As the affectionately-known “Hallmark Holiday” Valentine’s Day quickly approaches, reminder that there are numerous types of love beyond “romantic love” - familial love and platonic love are important players in the complex dynamics of relationships and deserve their time in the spotlight, too!

In order to nourish the relationships we have, whether romantic or otherwise, we find that knowledge is power. It’s time to get curious about how you and your loved ones best send and receive messages of love! Adapted from Gary Chapman’s “Love Languages” (2015) -

1. Gift-Giving

• Enough said, right? Little tokens of affection or big meaningful gifts related to inside jokes or your loved ones’ interests goes a long way.

2. Words of Affirmation

• Saying things like “I love you” along with highlighting positive attributes or strengths of your loved ones. Celebrating successes and offering unconditional support during hard times through verbal communication.

3. Quality Time

• Time together without distractions - bonding over shared activities, being present with one another and digging into a topic of depth, going on a date, having a girls’ day are all great examples.

4. Acts of Service

• Busy parents will totally get this one - acts of service is offering support in daily tasks or taking things off your loved one’s plate. For many, this helps us feel seen and appreciated for the hard work we put forth for our loved ones.

5. Physical Affection

• Hugs, kisses, snuggles - physical affection can release the “snuggle drug” oxytocin and support the depth of connection between parents and their children, between friends, and between partners.

6. Passive Connections (e.g. Meme-Sharing)

• Okay, okay, this one isn’t in the book. But millennials will tell you, meme-sharing is ABSOLUTELY a love language, especially for those busy working adults and parents who might not have the energy or time to offer much more than a passive means of connection.

Remember, love languages go both ways. We might appreciate showing love through words of affirmation but prefer to receive messages of love through quality time, for example. And these can change from one day to the next! Take this information with you and start being curious about yourself and your loved ones - you’d be surprised how much you notice and can adapt methods of communicating love to support connection!

References
Chapman, G. (2015). The 5 love languages. Northfield publishing.